Defining A Movement

For my girls today. This was on Jen Hall's blog and it says exactly what I want my girls to know today. Both are going through some changes and growth at the moment and life is a little difficult. Love you so much girls.



I am off for a mammogram today and follow up next week of more tests. I am back to going to Oncology monthly for a bit. Wish me luck.

Monday 20th

Spent the morning at hospital waiting to be seen. Had a nice registrar today, Lina. She was a lovely doctor.

Mammogram and ultrasound results were all great. No visible changes from a year ago. A big sigh of relief. Physical examination went well. No lumps, bumps, glands etc. All good.

I spent a little time in the oncology ward with the nurses. I love catching up with them every three months. They are the most wonderful ladies and they do an amazing job.

Today J and I have been married 13 years.

I can't imagine my life without him in it. Thanks for putting up with me and loving me J. Love ya.

Our Sunday

We had a great day today celebrating Eddie's 60th. I took NO photos but everyone else took many. It was so nice spending time with all the family and friends.

Caught up with family and friends, Marian, Carol, Rita, Richard, Jayne, Shane, Jenna, Theresa, Maria, Djudak, Henry, Michelle, Cindy, Leslie, Michael, Margie, Henry, Ann and many more. A lovely day. Love the Polish birthday song etc

We really need to spend a day or two learning all the old recipes so they can be carried on. My girls need to be able to continue the traditions of all the polish recipes.

We spent some time tonight with Simon and Debbie after taking Dylan home. Talking about Debbie's visit to Egypt and Dubai. Not too sure about the crocs on the Nile but the trip sounded awesome. Debbie gave us some lovely pressies. I received a beautiful gold coloured scarf, Kady a hippo carved from stone (Kady LOVES Hippos) and Leah a turquoise egg and J a lovely pen.

I am off to Oncology tomorrow. I had a mammogram a few weeks ago that they weren't too happy with. They sent me for an ultrasound straight after the mammogram. Will find out the results tomorrow. Not too worried as I know they would have contacted me if they were concerned about the results.

Wish me luck. It's always a worrying time having a checkup.

Trying to slot the days into order here. Working backwards.

I must say Christmas came around way to fast this year. For the first time in years I wasn't really prepared. No pressies, no cards sent out, no baking until the first few weeks into December. Very disorganised and very unlike me.

Once again we put our tree up at the start of December. J spent a ridiculous amount of time untangling the lights for the tree this year. The girls and I decorated the tree. J continued to work on the lights. Let's just say next year the lights have been put away so they will never tangle again and cause such headaches. The tree looked pretty special with it's lights twinkling. This year was Leah's turn to put the star on top of the tree.

November/Mid December

- Kady went to Wandin with Dylan and Debbie to watch Dylan compete

- parent teacher interviews

- I had a Spotlight Demo at Ballarat

- Leah went ten pin bowling and to see Madacasgar 2 for her end of year break up.

- Indian cooking class with Asha. Debbie and Mary came with me. We had a ball cooking yummy recipes. I always love Asha's cooking classes.Came home and made Budgies (not the correct spelling) later in the week. Yum.

- 4th December I had an oncology checkup. I saw Kate Hamilton and she was pleased with my progress and physical examination. Kate was happy with the weight I have lost and gave me clearance to continue with Karate. I was a little worried as I have many blood clots in my right arm from my first two treatments of chemo. They are considered to be in the tiny veins in my arm and shouldn't be a problem when punching and blocking at karate.

- Kady and I along with Dylan and Debbie (Dylan's Mum) began Rock N Roll classes this month. Lots of fun. Dylan has done Ballroom dancing/Latin American dancing for a number of years so is quite good. Debbie has also done a bit of rock n roll so Kady and I have a bit of catching up to do.After a few classes the instructor Brian has asked Kady and Dylan to do competition dancing in 2009.

Yes I am Still Here

I have decided to do a major catchup. I am still here. I have just been taking things easy in some areas of my life.

I can't believe it's been so long since I blogged. Life is great and very busy these days. Cancer is beginning to slowly take a back seat and it better stay that way. It's been 2.5 years since I was diagnosed and my life is finally not ruled by doctors visits. It seems like a life time ago although daily I am reminded by my own body what I went through due to the treatment and the surgery.

Seven months ago I decided to reclaim my life. I wanted to feel fit and healthy again and most of all lose weight. I wanted to join Kady up in Karate and decided I may as well join her. Within a few days Jason and Leah joined. We are all totally addicted. These photos were taken when we first started. We are all much fitter and train a minimum of three times a week (4.5 hours). Obsessed or what lol. I have lost close to 20kg's of my chemo weight. I look at the photo below and can't believe it's me. I would still love to lose another 5 to 10 kg's.

On 23rd November we had our first grading for our red belt. Close to 3.5 halfs of a full on workout. We all survived and we all passed. It was hot and hard work. I must take some pics with us wearing our red belts. This week we received our Kyokushin membership cards.

We have our next grading coming up in March. Bring it on.

Girls Night In

Tonight is the night for our girls night in.

Come on over to http://www.fiskarscraft.typepad.com/ and join in all the fun. All for a good cause. We will be raising money until midnight tonight for Breast Cancer Research.

You can donate online here http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=56745

Please donate. It doesn't matter how big or how small. Every cent helps.

We are also running an online silent auction. Lots of wonderful goodies created by our Fiskars Craft Team are up for auction http://fiskarscraft.typepad.com/my_weblog/2008/10/silent-auction.html

It's non stop fun. Lots of challenges, giveaways and much much more.

Thanks to Fiskars for allowing us to use the blog and for sponsoring our Girls Night In.

Pink Ribbon Day

Two years ago I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.

I found a lump in my breast in June 2006, whilst doing a self examination. I had just turned 37, life was great and I had no idea how my world was about to turn upside down. A friend had been diagnosed only three years before with breast cancer so it was an awakening call and I began doing self examinations every few weeks. Ironically, at the time when I found my lump I was involved in an annual breast cancer fundraiser run by our ambassador, Ngaire Bartlam. I was on the design team for Karen’s Kupboard and we were running an online Breast Cancer auction to help raise money for Ngaire.

The tests began, first a mammogram, followed by a core biopsy under ultrasound. Waiting for results was probably the hardest thing throughout my journey. Once diagnosed it was like a weight had been lifted and I was keen to move forward and have the surgery and begin treatment. My diagnosis was Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Grade 3. My growth was 1.7cm in size and was considered quite aggressive. IDC is a cancer that begins in the milk duct but grows into the surrounding normal tissue inside the breast. This is the most common kind of breast cancer. Grade 3 cancer cells have irregular shapes, stick together and are very fast growing. This is the fastest growing grade. My oestrogen and progesterone receptors were both negative and my HER2 was negative (+1). This means that my cancer wasn't a hormonal cancer which meant after my initial treatment finished that was all they could do. I wouldn't be able to take ongoing medication to keep the cancer at bay.

My surgery was booked in and my surgeon decided on a lumpectomy rather than removing my breast and a sentinal node biopsy. The node biopsy failed and rather than taking 2 nodes they took 8 lymph nodes due to the first two being in poor condition leading them to believe they were cancerous.Waiting for the results from my surgery was even harder than waiting for my intial diagnosis. I prayed that I would have clear margins and no cancer in my nodes. Four days after my surgery I received my results.

My tumour was an infiltrating duct carcinoma that had medullary features (medullary tumours account for less than 5% of breast cancers). I had clear margins (the tissue around the tumour) and clear lymph nodes. A big sigh of relief. A few months after my treatment finished my oncologist told me I would have been lucky to have lived 6 to 12 months if I hadn't found my lump.



Surgery took a while to recover from, treatment was tough but doable. I had 6 sessions of intense FEC 100 chemotherapy (over 16 weeks, every 3 weeks) and five weeks of radiotherapy. I became great friends with another lady, Helen during chemo. We had exactly the same treatment on the same day. We spent the hours laughing our way through treatment. I lost my hair but never my sense of humour. It never worried me losing my hair. I was never much of a girly girl.



During my journey I read every thing I could get my hands on. I recorded my journey on my blog http://dawnstan.blogspot.com/2006_06_01_archive.html One thing I found whilst going through treatment etc was that there weren't many real life stories out there. I found lots of websites with facts and figures but I wanted to read about real people. By recording my story I hope it will help someone else travelling along the same road.There are some fantastic websites within Australia and overseas. I received a journey kit from the breast cancer network

http://www.bcna.org.au


This was a wealth of information and included a diary to record all my appointments and treatments in.

Once diagnosed I was concerned about how my girls would cope with me losing my hair, going through treatment and being able to answer their questions etc I rang the cancer council and had a chat to a lovely lady who sent me a variety of brochures and books all written in a way that kids could understand what was going on. One of the books was a colouring book written by a child. It explained everything about my treatment and what would happen. It also stated that you couldn't catch cancer. This was one thing Leah worried about.
http://www.cancercouncil.com.au/

I became a member of an US website called Breast Cancer Org http://community.breastcancer.org/

The website has a discussion board and I joined a group of ladies who were all beginning chemotherapy during the month of August. It was fantastic to chat to other ladies who were all going through chemo at the same time. It was on this forum I met my good friend Valerie. Leah and Valerie's daughter Kennedy became pen friends and it was really great to see them write letters to each other and draw picture of their bald mothers.Leah's drawings were quite funny as she would draw my hair or lack of it exactly as it was.



Throughout my journey I lived with the motto, one day at a time. There are no hurdles too big to deal with when you take it one day at a time.

Here are some more websites I found helpful

http://www.nbcf.org.au/

http://www.breastcancer.org.au/

http://www.breasthealth.com.au/

http://www.pinkribbon.org.au/

Having breast cancer has changed my life for the better. Hard to believe that having cancer can be a good thing. I have come away with so many positives. It has made me a stronger person.

This poem by Linda Nielsen sums up my feelings exactly.

A Gift
(© By Linda Nielsen)
I was given a gift,wrapped shabbily, it was non-returnable,non-refundable!Reluctantly I accepted it.
In it I found courage I never knew existed and a patience far beyond anything ever experienced.
I was given the ability to trust a stranger with that most dear to me,
and an endurance for the unknown.
I was given unconditional love of family and friends,always there, never stopping, never faltering.
I was given many prayers from far and wide,and the warmth of knowing I am truly cared about.
I was given a fond farewell of my modesty and vanity, and the acceptance and love of an imperfect body.
I was given a strong shoulder to lean onwhen that shoulder had once grown distant,and laughter and good times, more special than ever before.
I was given many new friends, wonderful, courageous women I am so very proud to know.
I was given warm sunshine and beautiful green grass,blue skies, and sparkling city lights.
I was given things to see,that once before were ignored.
I was given the chance to wake up,instead of sleepwalking through life.
I was given every glorious day to enjoy,every month to savor, every year to rejoice.
I was given the gift of life,I was given breast cancer.
I hope everyone can join us on Thursday night for our girls night in. If you haven't already donated you can do so by clicking on the donation button on the left hand side of the blog. Every donation whether large or small helps.

Check those boobs ladies. Early detection saves your life. Cancer sucks.

Breast Cancer Awareness

Have you noticed the cool blinkie on my sidebar. This was made by the talented Cindy Hearty. If you would like to add one to your blog to help raise awareness of breast cancer here is the code.




Click on the blinkie to take you to the Fiskars ANZ blog and you can get the code to add the blinkie to your blog.

Make sure you join us over at www.fiskarscraft.typepad.com on 30th October for our Girls Night In to raise money for breast cancer research.

So far we have raised $490. If you would like to donate you can go here

http://vic.cancercouncilfundraising.org.au/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=56745

It doesn't matter how big or how small your donation is. You can pay via credit card or bpay.

Girls Night In

ANZ Fiskars Craft....Girls Night In October 30th

We are holding an on-line GIRLS NIGHT IN from 6pm Aus EST 8pm NZ - mid-night on October 30th at: http://www.fiskarscraft.typepad.com/

This will be held during our week of on-line activities for Breast Cancer Awareness Week..starting October 27th with PINK RIBBON DAY fun and games.....challenges,inspirational stories,prizes,auction,giveaways.....so make sure you mark this one on your calendar......spread the word....we shall have our wonderful FISKARS CRAFT TEAM of AMBASSADORS and DEMONSTRATORS sharing projects all week.

Come and join all the Fiskars Craft Team for lots of laughs ,fun and games......all for a great cause...let's raise AWARENESS OF BREAST CANCER.....doing what we all love to do......CRAFTING!! Lyn Dwyer, Dawn Stan, Trina McClune

Name: Fiskars ANZ Blog
Amount Raised: $430.00
Fundraising Goal: $2,000.00

My Event DetailsWhen: Oct 30, 2008 6:00 PM - 12:00 PMLocation: AUSTRALIA/NEW ZEALAND
Address: http://fiskarscraft.typepad.com/City: Aus/NZPostcode: 3797

Girls just want to have fun!

Donate Here

Welcome to our GIRLS NIGHT IN Fundraising event for 2008.....where we are all going to have some fun crafting up a storm...sharing projects, chatting away.....and generally having a fun time with other girls! Please help us reach our target by offering a donation...just click on the button above that says "donate now"...all donations over $2 are tax deductable and you shall receive a Tax receipt via email....if you donate $30 or more you go into a draw to win some wonderful prizes....including a PLAY STATION3Sing Star valued at over $8OO.OO.

B-Pay is also an option You will need to use: Biller Code: 263392 Ref: 6121768
With this option you will need to email your amount and postal details to: lyndwyer-fiskars@bigpond.com after you have paid by B-PAY in order to have a tax receipt sent out....... kind regards, Lyn , Dawn, Trina

Girls just want to have fun!

Update

Well I have been quite slack at updating this blog lately. We have been very busy. I am still working for Fiskars as one of the two Australian Lead Ambassadors. I love this role. My focus is on media and creative development. I am also still working for the YMCA a few times a week. Mainly evenings and a day on the weekend. Love both jobs.

J is nearing the end of his job. Only another month or less and then he can take some time off before the next one begins. We would love to go away on a holiday. We Might head up to QLD via the Kidman (love this highway) to visit the family and then go off touring around. Would love to go and see Tony and Mim's place before they move. Tony and Mim sadly have had to sell their farm as Tony has to have a back op that will require him to take a year off work. I feel so sad for them selling their farm as they love living there. They have purchased another place with about ten acres.

This month marked my two year anniversary of my diagnosis of Breast Cancer. I feel grateful for these two years. I think differently and feel different. I am thankful for the doctors, family and friends that were there for me on my journey. It was a time of reflection this month not in a sad way but rather more thankful for being diagnosed. The alternative I would rather not think about. They told me I would have been lucky to have had six more months as my cancer was very aggressive. Check your boobs girls.

Ok happier thoughts...............

This week has flown by. I spent today going into head office in Melbourne to work. Love going into head office and catching up with everyone. Today I got to see many of the Summer CHA releases in real life. Man they are yummy. My favourite would have to be the new Kimberly Poloson range. Black, cream and white. Very nice.

About a month ago we (meaning J, myself, Kady and Leah) joined a local Karate group. So much fun. We are learning Kyokushin Karate.

Kyokushin kaikan (極真会館, Kyokushin kaikan?) is a style of stand-up, full contact karate, founded in 1964 by Masutatsu Oyama (大山倍達, Ōyama Masutatsu?) who was born under the name Choi Yong-I (최영의). Kyokushinkai is Japanese for "the society of the ultimate truth." Kyokushin is rooted in a philosophy of self-improvement, discipline and hard training. Its full contact style has had international appeal (practitioners have over the last 40+ years numbered more than 12 million]).
Kyokushin has influenced many of the "full-contact" schools of karate, emphasizing realistic combat, physical toughness, and practicality in its training curriculum.

This week we attended two classes on Wednesday night and then tonight. Classes go for 1.5 to nearly 2 hours. I was quite sore this week as we did a full on class on Wednesday and another not so intensive class tonight. We will feel it on sunday. Way too many sit ups and push ups that I care to count. Lots of punching, punching bags, kicking. In a month I can feel the difference already. I am hoping this will build up the strength on my left side that was lost from my breast cancer surgery. I can already feel where my muscles should be lol. Bring on feeling fitter. Tonight we all got our Gi's. It's great to be able to partake in a sport as a family. The instructor claims Leah is a natural as she is so flexible and can do a kick and turn that most black belts struggle with. He told her to practice and perfect it.

We came home tonight to see a large male roo in the back yard munching away on the grass. He didn't hop away until we went onto the verandah to open the back door. It's so nice seeing all the wildlife here. We seem to have two to three males here all the time.

During the week J was driving home from work and stopped for a roo knocked down by a car in front of him. He rang the local wildlife shelter and they sent someone out to shoot the roo. so sad that people don't stop. In the roo's pouch was a pinkie ( a baby without fur). J thought it was about 30 - 40 cm long. The babywas going to be taken to our local wildlife shelter where Mich helped out.

Ok all for now. I actually have a full weekend off. The first in many months. We have to go and cut firewood though. It's cold and damp so not looking forward to it. 4.2 degrees tonight. I started this post hours ago. Time to head off for bed. Night.

I know

I haven't posted in a while. Ok Lyn I can take a hint.lol





It has been so frustrating updating the blog on dial up lately. It has been so slow. I have also been very busy working with Fiskars http://fiskarscraft.typepad.com/my_weblog/ there is so much happening over at the blog this month. We have youth week and also the book of ME this month. Stop by and check it out.


I recently bought a new laptop . It's a neat HP Pavilion dv9000 and it is awesome. I am slowly getting used to Vista. Very different form XP. Why do they hide everything. Another exciting development is that we finally switched to satellite broadband. We applied for this a while ago as we are in a rural blackspot that cannot get standard broadband. The joys of living in yuppyville. It is a bit faster than dial up lol. Still ironing out the cobwebs.





This week has been a little stressful. Monday I went for a mammogram. It was so uncomfortable. The last didn't hurt near as much. This is my third one. The first gave me my diagnosis of breast cancer, the second gave me the all clear. This week was the third. I am pretty sure it all looked well on the screen and on the images. After all I am such an expert lol. I mean I do know what a lump looks like sadly. Anyway no news is always good news. I will ring my doctor tomorrow for the results. It's nearly two years since my diagnosis. Feels great. Life is good.





Mich and Lee are still living with us. They are loving country life compared to the city. Lee is still working with Jason and Mich, volunteers quite often at the local wildlife shelter. Kady spent the day with her last week helping out and loved it. Leah is going on Monday to volunteer.





I think Mich and Lee are putting up with us pretty well. I wonder if we have scared them off having kids yet lol. They leave for New Zealand on the 5th May. They are going to be touring for ten weeks in a Wicked Camper Van http://www.wickedcampers.com.au/ and then hope to find jobs for three months to fund a tour up the east coast of Australia and then off to Thailand.



Ok so what's been happening lately. Not much rain. The weather has been all over the place. A bit of rain, a huge dust storm that left everything covered in a thick layer of red dirt. I still haven't cleaned my windows. We took part in Earth hour. A couple of candles and lots of chatting. The kids struggled at first with no TV, computer etc but after an hour we could have stayed like that all night.

Over the last few weeks we have had a wombat hanging around the house at night. Lots of noise and getting stuck under the house, in the veggie patch etc. We knew there was one in the area that was pretty sick. Last Tuesday I went out of the house to get the mail and it was sitting in the middle of the garden in broad daylight. Wombats are nocturnal and shouldn't be out at all. If they are they are pretty sick. I tried to keep him in the yard whilst yelling out to Mich to call the shelter. He went into a drain pipe under a driveway. This ended up being a good thing as he was easily caught. As we were catching him we could smell this horrible smell of rotting flesh. He had mange so bad he didn't' know if it was day or night. His skin was raw and to make things worse he had a bullet wound in his head where someone had tried to shoot him. Sadly this guy had to be put down. Such a shame. Foxes spread mange to the wombats.

Ok onto good news. I will be in Brisbane with Fiskars at the end of this month for the Brisbane Stitches and Craft Show. http://www.stitchesandcraft.com.au/

Lyn Dwyer, myself and a team of Fiskars girls will be there with Living Creatively http://www.livingcreatively.com.au/ and Kerri-Anne Kennerley. Recently we did the Melbourne Stitches and Craft Show with them and we had a fantastic time. The show runs from 30th april - 4th May. Make sure you stop by and say hi. Lyn and I will be doing two shows a day on stage.

Today we had Kady's parent teacher interviews. She is doing so well and we are so proud of her. Her goal is to get into Forensic Science. Her teacher told me today that she is got 88% for her last exam. Well done Kady.

Ok I am off to bed. All I can think of for now. Thinking Mardi and Auntie Beryl going through chemo. Big hugs.

Another Catchup

Mum flew over to the UK last week. She is staying over there visiting all the family for three weeks with her friend Deb. Mum was really surprised when Uncle Mick, Auntie Debs and Auntie Sharon met her at the airport.

Mum and Deb are staying in Brighton in a hotel until tomorrow. Mum said the place is very dirty. Her travel agent booked it for them. It doesn't even have laundry facilities or a phone in their room. Tomorrow they head off to Auntie Linda's to stay for a few days.

Right about now Mum will be enjoying herself at a huge family party Auntie Sharon has organised. I can't wait to see some photos. Really wish we were there too. Some of the relies haven't seen each other for years and years.

So far Mum has caught up with her brothers and sisters, some Uncles, her cousin Julie-Anne and her boyfriend and her Dad and Carole. Sadly her Dad didn't even recognise her and asked her if she was lost when she knocked on his door. Mum has been to the cemetery with her sisters to put flowers on her Mum's grave. She has been gone for 37 years now. I was only little when she died. I would have loved to have known her. She was only my age when she died. So young.

My Auntie Beryl is recovering from her surgery for Breast Cancer. She has to go back tomorrow for another operation as her margins weren't clear when they took her lump out. Thinking of you Auntie Beryl. Will ring you in a few days when you get home from hospital. Keep an eye out for the postie.

My MIL Mary is jetting off to China at the end of her month with her brother and his family. She will have a great time and is really looking forward to it. Mary, Eddie, Wendy, Daryl, Megs, Zac, Cassi and Ash have just returned home from two weeks in sunny Queensland. I think they had as much rain as sun but it sounds like they had a good time.

Last week we had an air conditioner installed. With all the recent hot weather it's really getting a work out. Since going through chemo I always feel so hot. I think it's something to do with all the hormones. Speaking of hormones. I had a bit of a scare last week. A few problems with my good boob. LOL Luckily the doctor thinks everything is ok and it's all hormonal. I have decided to see a breast specialist privately from now on as well as going to the public hospital for my three monthly check ups. Over the last six months I haven't been overly happy at the public hospital. I feel I have become a number now that all my treatment is over and I think I need to be seeing someone other than resident doctors every three months. The last resident I saw wasn't even going to do a breast examination.

Donna had a biopsy on a lump on her shoulder during the week. She is waiting for her results. Chris burnt himself and had skin grafts done on his arms on the same day. Hope you guys are feeling better.

Kady has become very interested over the last six months in studying Forensic Science. Kady's two lower subjects at school are maths and science and she will need to achieve high results in these subjects to achieve her goals. The other week she went and spoke to her class coordinator and organised to have extra tutoring after school for maths. So proud of her. We have told her if she wants to she can achieve anything. Even is she changes her mind career wise later it doesn't matter. As long as she is happy.

I worked all day yesterday. It was so hot and stormy and although there was lots of thunder and a few tiny sun showers we really didn't get any rain. It is really humid at the moment.

I am heading off to work again shortly. Only working four hours today. It is meant to reach 30 degrees again today. Feels like summer is finally here. Mary and Eddie are coming over for a BBQ this afternoon. I am going to make this salad as well as a few others. mmm will have to get some fresh lettuce out of the hot house.

Chickpea, Tomato and Feta Salad
2 x 300g Cans Chickpeas
2 x 250 g punnets cherry or grape tomato
1 small red onion halved and thinly sliced
1.1/2 cups fresh flat leaf parsley
100g reduced fat feta cheese crumbled

Vinaigrette

2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 teaspoon Castor sugar

make vinaigrette by combining all ingredients together. Season with salt and pepper. Shake to combine.

Combine chickpeas, tomatoes, onion and parsley in bowl. Dress with vinaigrette. Top with feta. Adjust quantities of chickpeas and tomatoes to suit yourself.

Next week I am doing a Thai cooking class down at the local communtiy centre. I can't wait.

Ten Years Old & Some News

Yesterday Leah turned ten years old. She was so excited. She is having a birthday party this weekend at the YMCA. The party is a fun and games party and includes rope climbing, trampolines and lots more.

She opened our presents Tuesday evening when Jason was home. She got a pixel chic, a book of how to draw funky things, a bratz dvd and bratz book as well as some stationary items.

Leah also received Auntie Cassi's present from NZ and opened it on Tuesday night. Auntie Cassi and Uncle Ash sent her a drawing pad, pastels and a Molly Moon novel. Leah loved them Cass.

Last night Mary and Eddie came over for dinner and I snapped this photo of Leah opening her gift from them. She was excited to find they had got her a Bratz doll named Leah as well as some sketch pencils, underwear and four different tops and a pair of three quarter leggings. Leah has some lovely tops now for summer.

Leah received cards in the mail from Auntie Donna, Nana and Pete and Rose.

We went to Sandra's funeral on Friday. It was a lovely service. Sad but also very funny. Her good sense of humour came through in the service.

I worked most of the weekend as well as spending Saturday mowing the grass and burning off. I got burnt on my lips on Saturday. Since chemo I seem to burn easier. It was stinking hot all weekend. A taste of summer. Jason installed my cd/mp3 player in the car from out of the four runner and also the spotlights from Dad.

Auntie Beryl had her breast cancer operation on Monday. I rang her on Sunday and we had a good chat. Uncle Michael rang me early Tuesday morning to say that Beryl had come through the operation well and was a little happy on morphine. We will know more over the next week as to what treatment she will have and whether or not she will need further surgery.

Monday I attended a Special Diets training day through work. It was really interesting. A lot of the info I had studied at uni when I did Food Technology but there is a lot more info available nowadays. I am now hopefully up to date on the top eight main allergens. We also spent 3 hours cooking recipes to suit different dietary requirements. I made Quinoa with carmelised red onion and pumpkin salad (done with balsamic vinegar and brown sugar). It is served on a bed of rocket and topped with shaved parmesan. This is for a gluten free diet. It was really tasty. Something I would even consider making at home as a summer salad.

Tuesday my buddy Wendy hosted a pink ribbon morning tea. Wendy set up the tables with pink balloons, pink plates and everyone bought lots of yummy food to eat including pink boob cutcakes. Wendy held raffles and I won some lovely goodies. We raised $270. Thanks so much Wendy. I had a wonderful time.

Wednesday, I went to the gym and I had a fitness assessment. My heart is really good and above average. My trainer said even though I had put on weight I had a good fitness level. Not bad after all the chemo etc. Pity I don't feel as healthy as my results show lol. I spent half and hour working out.

Today I headed back to the gym and went through my program with the personal trainer. After 45 minutes I was feeling pretty hot and had worked out well. I was meant to spend 20 minutes on the cross trainer but I only lasted 15. I was amazed at how much weight I have put on. I weigh 80kg, eeekkk. Hoping to lose a heap of this. I don't want to go back down to was I was originally but I would be happy to lose 15 kg.

Jason begins a new site job next week. He is looking forward to running his own site again after the last few months helping out at other sites until his was ready to begin.

Kady scored 33 out of 37 for her science exam this week. At the moment she is hoping to study Forensic Science when she leaves schoool. She knows that she won't achieve this unless she gets top marks in Math's and Science. These are her two lowest subjects so she really will have to work very hard to achieve this. She is doing really well though.

I am busy tonight making cupcakes for Leah's birthday party.

AWOL

The days have been so busy lately. If I owe you an email I apologise. I will hopefully get to answer them all over the next few days. The kids went back to school last week. I have been working heaps and by the time I get home I can't be bothered with the computer. Not much has been happening scrapbooking wise. My mojo went walkabout but the other day I did an off the page item and some work for my top tens, so I think it may be coming back slowly. I am hoping to start work on a mini album from Christmas a few years ago when we went to Lake Fyans. Have got together all the goodies, lots of Kaiser stuff so just have to organise photos.

Monday I had my oncology checkup (9 month appointment although I am 9 months post chemo). They do a physical to check for lumps and bumps and swollen glands. Nothing major. This doctor (a new one) was very impressed with my scar. She told me it was beautiful lol. I have had that said a lot by many doctors. I suppose some people depending where their lump is causes surgery to heal differently or change your shape etc.

You would think after having cancer there is more they would do but they pretty much leave it up to you to detect any changes, and give you an annual mammogram.

All is good. I see the doctor on 15th January 2008. The only thing I hate about the public system is that you see a different doctor most of the time. You also seem to have to wait for ages (although I did this for years privately as well). My appointment was at 10.15am (the first appointment) but I wasn't seen until 11.30am ( a quick wait this time). I hate sitting around. It is sad to see the other ladies about to begin their journey of treatment, surgeries etc.

This month is breast cancer awareness month. Please donate, buy a badge/pin etc to help raise money for research. My friend Wendy is holding a pink ribbon brunch on Tuesday in honour of me to help raise money for breast cancer research. Looking forward to seeing all the girls and helping a wonderful cause.

Tuesday morning I received a phone call from Donna G to say (her Mum) and our friend Sandra had lost her battle with cancer. I feel so sad for Donna and her family but so glad that Sandra is no longer suffering. They had a hard time over recent weeks trying to keep her pain under control. Sandra went in for a simple knee operation back in February and they found a tumour. It was secondary and the primary was in her lungs and ribs. Sandra was such a funny lady. Always made you laugh even when things weren't too good. We will miss her funny emails and her sense of humour. The funeral is tomorrow morning.

On a lighter note I have wasted time over the last few months on Facebook. Add me as a friend if you wish. It's an easy way of keeping up with all the aunts, uncle, cousins, old school friends and scrapping buddies.

Leah turns ten next week. I know I say it all the time but where has the time gone. She is having a birthday party on Saturday with all her friends at the YMCA and then family will probably come over in the evening. Leah's party is a fun and games party with rope climbing, trampolines, pass the parcel etc.

I have made up 20 gift bags filled with lollies, popcorn, juice, chips, fruit and jelly, kids packaged biscuits and heaps of other bits and pieces rather than do the standard food that I will end up taking most of it home. I am adding all the lollies into the bag rather than doing lollie bags. That way the kids can eat what they want at the party or take it all home. I have also bought them a bottle of water each and will tie a tag on the neck of the bottle with their name on it. After all the running and climbing they will do they will need a cool drink.

Not long till Mich and Lee come. Jason and I have been researching places to go and where we will camp. They have headed up towards Broome for the next two weeks. Next they are off to Uluru.

Happy birthday to Mim for next week.

Christmas is approaching fast. I have started buying a couple of presents. Everyone is coming to our house this Christmas. Looking forward to it.

All my seeds have sprouted in my greenhouse. I have transplanted a million lettuce and have a million more to find homes for so that they can grow. All my herbs have sprouted. Jason has planted three habanero chilli plants.

We have wild ducks with their babies here once again this year. They are so cute.

I caught up with Paula this morning for a cuppa for her birthday. We went to the Flying Teapot. Such a cool cafe.

Anyway it's wild and windy here today. We have an extreme fire warning. I can't thing of anything else to add for now. I will share my off the page creation shortly.

Edited to add. This afternoon I went to pick up Leah from the bus stop. Walking back into our yard along the driveway I stepped over a snake. I thought it was a small tree branch as I was chatting to the girls. It was only just over a foot long. A baby red belly black. I sent the girls to get the axe and attempted to chop it in half . Lucky for Sammy snake I wasn't successful. As I hit it there was another beside a rock on the other side of the garden about the same size. yuck. I hate them. Part of living in the bush. I would much rather see a bit one than little babies. At least you can see where they are.

Cancer Sucks

Ok, I have said this so many times and honestly it really does suck.

I received a phone call this morning at work from Dad, telling me that my auntie Beryl (Dad's brothers wife) in England was diagnosed with breast cancer over the last few days. Not sure of all the details but she found out through a mammogram.

I feel so angry and so sad for Beryl. I hope I can help her through her journey.

One in eight women are diagnosed with breast cancer according to latest statistics on TV (no idea how accurate this is) for breast cancer awareness month, over the last few weeks. When I was diagnosed just over a year ago, it was one in eleven women (3 of us just on a scrapbooking group I am a member of out of 30, have been diagnosed with breast cancer, all were 40 and under).

Girls for those over forty run and get a mammogram. If not check your boobs regular. For those under 40 this is when, breast cancer is the most aggressive and fastest growing. Early detection saves your life.

Please give generously this month to help find a cure for breast cancer. October is breast cancer awareness month. By a product, donate etc to help raise funds to find a cure for this horrible disease.

A Catchup

Other news

Mary my MIL had her foot operation on Monday. All went well and I think she was ready to kick a football when we rang her. Hopefully she still felt that way once the pain meds wore off.

We are off to see her on Saturday with a basket of goodies. I have bought her a huge variety of mags to keep her occupied and will add some fruit and other things into the basket. She will have to take it easy for a bit so that will be hard for her as she never stops.

Wednesday I had to go to see the Osteopath about my back once again. Hoping this might be the last time for a bit. Still got some nagging pain but at least I can move compared with late last week. After Osteo I caught up with Paula and Erica and we swapped photo cd's from the retreat (Tracey I got yours today in the mail).We had a cuppa and a quick lunch.

After lunch I decided I was in desperate need of a haircut. My first in a long time. In just five months my hair was a good couple of inches long and getting so wild and curly.

Now all my curls are gone. I have a Cathy Z style hair cut. Not sure I would have been that brave a year ago but I got the hairdresser to cut a good inch off all over and I love it. So easy to look after. Might let it grow longer. I like the messy look. Also got my first pot of wax. Mum you will be proud of me lol mmm also had my eyebrows waxed whilst I was getting rid of unwanted hair. You really all needed to know that now didn't you.

After the kids got home from school I took Kady down to the doctors to have her allergy injection. She is having a few problems with heartburn/reflux again so is back on tablets.

I had to see the doc regarding the blood clots in my veins from chemo on my lower arm. He is happy to leave them for now. I also had this weird lump that has appeared on the top of my wrist on my left hand. I used this arm heaps when I had my picc line in and really stressed my wrist. The lump is a gangalion. These come from synovial fluid leaking from a joint. If it gets larger the doctor wants to remove it surgically. mmmmm lets hope it doesn't. Have had enough done over the last year.

Today was my six month checkup with Radiotherapy. It only seems like yesterday I had my last radio. I found radio a breeze. I took in a heap of mags to put in the waiting room. The men literally jumped on the fishing and 4w4 mags I left there. There are so many girly mags but not a lot for men. Will drop more in later in the year. Saw Dr See who is as lovely as ever. He examined me. I have some thickening of the skin under the breast and some fluid build up which is all normal. He said it may settle down over time but it may remain the same.

Good news is that instead of seeing him in 6 months he said I have recovered so well he doesn't need to see me for a year.

After radio, I caught up with my chemo buddy Helen. She is looking beautiful. So healthy and a head full of curls. She has coloured her hair and just looks radiant. Helen is still going through Herceptin but is doing well. We had lunch and a cuppa where her daughter Cassey works. Thanks for lunch Helen.

Ok I THINK I have caught up. Can't believe my Dad has been home a week already. Naughty bugger drove straight through as there was no accomodation in Narrabri or Goondiwindi due to Cotton Conferances or something similar.

Another Week

has flown by.

Last Thursday I had an Oncology appointment. All went well. No news is good news. I don't have to go back for three months. My Oncologist told me I am cured and not considered to be in remission. He said it may come back at some stage but for now I have the all clear. Pretty cool hehehe. Still have to wait five years after diagnosis to be considered much safer though.

My hair is growing fast. I have tight curls at the back. They have a mind of their own. The longer my hair gets the curlier the bottom becomes. Now the lengths on top are starting to curl too.

Worked last Friday but had the weekend off. Bliss.

Saturday, Jason went fishing with Adam, in Adam's new boat out on the bay. They didn't have much luck so no fish for dinner that night. He had a ball though.

Sunday we pottered around home. J started building my hot house down beside the veggie garden. Looking forward to growing some tomatoes in there for summer. Tomatoes just don't grow well up here. This will help extend our growing season.

Been busy planning for when my cousin Miche and her man Lee come over to stay. They will be in Australia for about five months and staying with us for two weeks. We are planning on taking them on a camping trip down Great Ocean Road, over to Mt Gambier and then back through the Grampians. Hopefully we will stay four nights (two in Mt Gambier region). If anyone has any must see places please let me know. We are so excited and can't wait to see them.

We are busy selling two of our cars. The 4 runner and the Commodore. Hopefully someone buys them soon.

My friend Sandra is in hospital battling lung cancer. Sandra isn't doing too well at the moment and is pretty drugged up on painkillers etc. Thinking of you Sandra.

Caught up with Paula and Erica on Tuesday. I had to sort out some class stuff for the Florewen Scrapbooking Retreat so we had a coffee and lunch.

The last two days I have been busy working on my latest Top Ten for Scrapbook Creations. Wow this one is a beauty. So much talent. I can't wait for the issue to come out in a few months.

Happy birthday today to my SIL Kathie.

One Year Ago

This week,

I found a lump in my breast whilst in the shower. I was in the middle of Ngaire's http://scrapblogmebaby.typepad.com/blog_me_baby/
Breast Cancer fundraiser along with Karen's Kupboard auction.

I always checked for lumps every few weeks. Every since my friend Lynita was diagnosed it made me so much more aware. At least once a week or fortnight I would take the time to check whilst in the shower. Even with no family history of breast cancer and being TOO young I always checked.

That particular week I was prompted to check just one more time but this time pushing a lot deeper. Just running my fingers lightly over my breast didn't reveal anything. My lump almost felt like it was a rib it was so deep in my breast. I wasn't sure at first but after running my soapy hands over again and again I KNEW it needed to be checked. I even had Jason check for me (not that he needed to be asked lol) and he could feel it when pushing hard.

Why didn't I feel it earlier. How could I have missed it. I mean I check so often it's not funny. It was so deep in my breast though that it would have been easy to think it was nothing. Lumpy boobs.

BUT I DID FIND IT AND THAT IS WHAT COUNTS

Wednesday morning I headed off to see Dr Anthony. He listened, he believed and he acted immediately (please girls don't ever believe you need to wait a few weeks to see if things change, it could be too late). You need a doctor that reacts straight away. If it's a false alarm then you have reason to celebrate. No harm done. Better to be safe.

A year ago today I went for a mammogram and ultrasound. Jason and the girls came with me for support.

Jason and the girls dropped me off and I went inside Lake Imaging (Trish met me outside and gave me my circle journal of words of wisdom and quotes from Piles Of Scrap, little did these girls realise the strength it gave me that day, almost like they were all there with me). Even back then I knew, a gut feeling that it wasn't good. The lady that did my mammogram showed me my images and pointed out the lump. I remember saying to her, that doesn't look good and she replied NO it doesn't. I remember walking out shaking, trembling and waiting for J to come pick me up (he had taken the girls down the road to entertain them at the shops as no one was allowed in with me). Jason's Uncle Macca (a taxi driver) pulled up beside me to pick up a customer and asked if I was ok. I remember saying, I am fine, without giving anything away. Deep down I was on the verge of tears.

I knew already it wasn't good. I wasn't over reacting, I felt like I just knew. I just wanted to get my results and then deal with whatever life was going to throw at me. I actually felt so much better once I knew where I was heading.

Here is my blog entries from a year ago.

Breast Cancer
I think this is a couple of words that puts the fear of all things into a woman. Everyone knows someone who has been affected by Breast Cancer. They say early detection is the best prevention and I am hoping they are right.Over the last week I have noticed some changes in one breast. Early this week I discovered a lump. This lump is about the size of a 5 cent piece, maybe slightly larger. I check quite regular as most woman should but I cannot remember if I checked last week or three weeks ago. My mind is a bit of a blur right now.Yesterday I went back to my doctor. I had already seen him Monday and he put my changes down to hormonal changes due to coming off a contraceptive injection. Back to yesterday I went back to confirm my worst fears that there really was a lump there and he found it straight away. Due to the other changes he has booked me in as early as possible for a mammogram and an ultrasound tomorrow morning.This is the most scariest thing I think I have ever been through. It even beats childbirth. I have had wonderful support from my family and my scrapbooking buddies from Piles Of Scrap. I am sure the lump will end up being nothing but that really doesn't stop everything going through your mind. You try not to imagine the worst but somehow yucky thoughts slip in.I am trying to remain positive. For those who drop by you will notice the strange woman cleaning and decluttering like a mad woman to take her mind off of things. I have even agreed to let quite a few of Kady's mad tweeny friends come over today just so the day will pass more quickly.Anyway send good vibes my way tomorrow please. I won't find out the results until at least Monday or Tuesday. It's going to be a long weekend.

An Update
All tests are done thank goodness for now. Very scary but not painful and hardly uncomfortable. I had my mammogram and then they called me back to have a magnified view. Gather they wanted a closer look at my lump. They showed me my mammogram images. I have a large white solid looking mass. It seems pretty contained. She said it didn't appear to be a cyst and that I would have to wait until next week for the doctor to tell me the news. She said it doesn't look too good especially with my discharge from my nipple has changed from yellow to blood like over the last few days (Just want to clarify that the discharge was so tiny it could only be noticed if you squeezed the nipple, it wasn't flowing out iykwim and even then it was a micro dot of fluid). My ultrasound showed a solid black lump. So looks like no fluid. They also checked for blood flow around it.It all seems pretty surreal. Most of the day I have felt fine. During and after I felt very teary during the day and tonight. I think a glass of red is on order lol.I am pretty sure looking at the images (not that I know squat) that it is a tumour but I suppose time will tell if it's benign or malignant. Like I said I am trying to read the results without knowing nothing. For all I know it could be something harmless.I hate the waiting game and wished the weekend wasn't in the middle. I plan on keeping pretty busy to take my mind off of things. Will throw out all my old clothing to the op shop lol that doesn't fit and have a massive declutter.Jason is cooking a nice piece of steak and calamari on the bbq for dinner. Yummo.Thanks for all my lovely family and friends for thinking of me and keeping me in good spirits.

A year has changed me so much. It's a year I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies if I had them. NO one wants to have cancer. The cancer and treatment takes so much away from you. I think the hardest thing I found was the guilt, the guilt on how my family had to deal with this, the time it took in regards to medical appointments, and the money. I hated it. It drains you, changes the way you think and takes away the person or life you once were, BUT at the same time it gives you so much more back. I am so much a better person than before cancer. I am grateful for, my hubby Jason. J was a tower of strength, we laughed and cried together many times, my girls, my sweet girls, I tried to make my journey for them as truthful and lest scary as I could. I was always honest, no matter what they asked and they have been fantastic. My family, both in oz and overseas. Your messages via email kept me going each day. One day at a time. The friends I have made and I sometimes think I would go through it all again in a heartbeat. Not for the cancer side but for all the hundred other reasons. It has honestly been the most unreal journey I have ever made.

I am ALIVE a year later and it really doesn't ever get much better than that (lets hope that continues lol). I have never really dwelled on why me. I must admit it did enter my mind, I did all the right things statistically to NOT get breast cancer and yest I did get IT. It has made me view life so much more different from before and at the same time keeping my sense of humour. Before I was very easy going but until you have gone through this it changes all again and I think I have become even more laid back. It makes me laugh sometimes because so many people tell you they know what you are going through and they try to relate to exactly how you feel. Even though they have never been through CANCER, through chemo, radio and their life laid out before them. One of the things I have had to deal with is the weight I put on through chemo ( I know its trivial ) and yet that weight stopped me from ending up in hospital and kept me thriving. I was so lucky compared to some.

I entered a very early menopause, hot flushes etc (good in winter though, keep you nice and warm, no zits) as well as so many other side effects (my arm from lymph node removal is still quite numb, i have next to no feeling in my armpit) and weird feelings after surgery (in my breast) that continue to change month to month as my body heals even a year on. I still cannot lay on my side comfortably because of my surgery. My left side of my body will never feel normal again but I'm feeling pretty good at the same time. Lately though I have had stirrings that make me think things down stairs are changing. Girls you know that heavy achy feeling. Not sure I want that normality back.

I have made a few online friends, Valerie in America (Val I love you, and would love to meet you and your gorgeous family in real life one day) Beverly and Dawn (we have chatted on our blogs through our journeys), and in real life, Petra (although I have only met you once and spoken to you a few times I love you mate and I am so proud of you) My chemo buddies, Helen (my local rock and friend, confidant and helper in keeping the oncology nurses in stitches lol, we have been together each step of the way), Katrina (sadly no longer with us, oh Trina you had the most charismatic eyes and laugh anyone ever had. Now due to your kindness two other people have sight thanks to you. You were way too young to die), Lorraine (and her wonderful husband), Ina, you thought I was way to young to have breast cancer as I was so much younger than you, gosh did we laugh through radio, we had those young radiotherapists in stitches), and many many other ladies and gents I met in Oncology and through radiotherapy (some sadly are no longer with us), my mates online on the boards in America and Australia and other online blogs I read, Marjory, Stephanie, and so many more.

Cancer has changed my life for the better. Not something I would have ever thought I would say. I know many boob jokes lol

There was always a possibility of dying but that is going to happen eventually to anyone whether you have cancer or you don't. I have always focused on living. I plan to do it well and enjoy it for as long as I have. As my dear Nanny told me only days before she passed away, She said to me Dawn, you are going to live until you are an old lady. I always have listened to my Nan.

Good News

My bone scan came back clear of cancer. Such a relief. I have some degeneration in my spine and hip. I knew about my spine but not my hip. I had quite a bad fall from a horse when I was about thirteen so over the years they have told me that it damaged my back. Now my hip must be starting to show signs of trauma.

My chemo buddy Helen came with me yesterday for support. I was injected with some radioactive stuff and then had to wait over three hours for the scan. We went back to Helen's house and then headed off to the mall for lunch. The scan wasn't too bad. I had to lay still for 25 minutes whilst the machine went slowly over the top of me. A bit weird as it was only Cm's from my face and body. It was hard to lay still knowing you HAD to lay so still. The last two minutes my nose was itching. Ahhh the longest two minutes. They did a second scan just of my torso.

Had lunch with the girls today. A last minute decision to grab a coffee and lunch in the marsh with Tracey, Paula and Erica. Thanks for a great day girls. Nice coffee and a little retail therapy. What more could a girl want. We had lunch at Baby Black. mmmmm. Will share photos soon. I can't get them to download off my phone. Tracey sent some through so may have to share them.

What A Week

What a week. A very stressful week. As you know Monday I had my Mammogram. Still waiting for the results of that. I'm not worried about that one as I figure they would have contacted me if there was something bad on the scan. Can I say OUCH. Not as bad as I was thinking it was going to be but certainly not pleasant. The girl that did the imaging was fantastic. She was fast and aware that it may hurt. She told me some women still are tender ten years after surgery!!!!!

Tuesday I went back to the doctor about this dull ache in my right side. I have had it for a month now and the first doctor put it down to muscular pain. It was still annoying me so I thought I would go back to my regular GP (he was away the other time). Well he scared the heck out of me. The ache seems to feel like someone has their fingers under my rib. I notice it more if I am sitting down in the car. Feel like there is a lump in my seat pushing into my back. Not a sharp pain, just there.

My GP told me I needed to have blood tests to rule out bone cancer. He wanted my calcium and phosphate levels checked as well as liver etc to rule out a secondary cancer. He said I could have bone cancer in my ribs. I have never had a bone scan so this was something he was worried about also and felt it should have been done when I was first diagnosed. I had asked my Oncologist, Kate many times during my treatment about it. They had told me the risk was too high for me to have a bone scan due to bringing on secondary cancers after having Chemo and radiotherapy. My GP was going to contact a different radiologist (?) to find out the risk to me.

Wednesday I went for a blood test. Three attempts in my hand and arm and finally she was lucky. The veins kept collapsing and in the end she had to take paediatric size samples. Ouch. She told me my GP would have the results by Thursday.

Thursday I ring my GP only to find he has the day off.

Friday finally I get the results and they are all ok. What a relief. I am seeing the doctor Monday to organise a bone scan as there is minimal risk and he would rather I have it to rule out bone cancer for sure. It will also give them a baseline to go on in the future.

On a happier note.

This owl hangs around at night all the time. I think he is a tawny frog mouth but will have to check. When you approach him he bends forwards and pretends he is a branch. He is huge. Not a good photo as I didn't have time to get a good pic before he flew off.

Not sure I mentioned but Leah bought herself a rat, Lulu a few weeks ago. Slack me hasn't taken a photo yet but will try to do so today.

My Uncle Mick rang me twice from the UK this week. It was nice chatting to him. We both love photography so it's great to chat about that. Wishing him luck with his upcoming hip replacement.

Off to take some local photos today for a local gallery. I have been asked to frame and sell some of my photos from around our area. How cool is that.