Sunday, December 03, 2006

Chemo 5

Mentally this was the hardest. The physical side effects you would not wish on your worst enemy. A war hitting your body. At the same time I have found it nothing to what I envisioned.

I find the mental harder than the physical. I only have to open a cupboard where my medication is kept to cause me to dry reach. (sorry if it's too much info). I have had an easy road compared to some. My friend Helen ( we finish chemo on the same day) whom I have met through chemo has ended up in hospital every time after chemo. She has sufffered so much more than me. We laugh so much together over what cancer has put us through.

I have battled on at home. Tonight I'm having it easy. A week and a half after I am still trying to get rid of a few sores on my mouth and throat ulcers which are causing me havoc. I can hardly eat or swallow but it's more annoying more than painful. I can't wait till this is over.

Sometimes I feel like Nanny that this may be my last Christmas, ( she told me we never know if it's the last so we have to make the most of it to spend time with family and enjoy what means the most to us ) . I feel sad then I feel strong. Most of the time I feel this cancer will not rob me of my life. 99% of the time I am very positive.

I have a little girl in the next room with a temp and coughing. She has been sick for two days with temps over 38 degrees. I look after her but knowing I may catch watch she has. ( I wouldn't have it any other way) It scares me as I know if I get her temp I will end up in hospital. Leah has been mid 38 degrees the last two days, with aches and pains). Jason worked today ( out of the norm) so it was only me to look after her. What can I do. Life goes on. If I get a temp of 38 or more I am into hospital straight away.

My good friend Lou has driven me to my last two chemos' She has found it hard to sit there with me (it's a hard thing to do) but she has been amazing. She has given me strength to get through these last two sessions. She took these photos on her phone. My new hair is so blonde it doesn't even show up on pictures. '

I have lost a few more eyebrows this time around but my new growth covers that up.


linda said...

hi dawn i still think you look beautifull without the hair i have just read your blog page im crying thinking of what you are going through i think of your nan such a lovely lady we have had a bad year ours is slowly getting better so i wish you luck love auntie linda logie clan our thoughts are with you love you all linda

auntie rose said...

hi girl u can see the blond bits on your head , at least if you stay blond you want have to dye your hair when it goes grey like i have too uncle pete reckons i should leave it as it is .hope leah gets better soon .keep your chin up we are all thinking of you love the little ducklings love and kisses to you all love the isted clan xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chris M said...

Hi Dawn, I hope that Leah improves quickly and that you don't catch what she has. You've really opened my eyes to the reality of Cancer and I'm sure there are lots more things that you don't share that are involved with your journey. You are wonderful to share it with us. Best wishes.

Judy said...

Keep positive. I know this is harder to do than to go through Chemo, but please please please stay positive. You are so brave and an inspiration to all. You share your most inward thoughts with everybody, but It IS the TRUTH. Please keep the chin up.
Love to you and your family

mum said...

I hope that Leah is feeling a lot better now,such a bad time to be sick in the summer with the heat it has been very hot up here.
Uncle mike rang last night, and spoke to dad for about half an hour he said nanny was having a poached egg for brekke and then was going back to bed as she was so tired.
My dear mil, wish I could be with her at this time.
I have sent your blog to uncle mike as I dont think that he has got it.
I know you will come through this and it is very hard for you, but you will get there.
Dad has started putting up the outside lights and stuff, he is like a big girls blouse.
I am hoping to have this xmas off, will wait and see what the boss says.
Dylan is going with his dad on xmas day morning from 900 to 2 30, so we will have him the rest of the day, so good to have a little grandson . I love all of my little girls but it is so nice to have a boy, the only sad thing is the Tester name will not be carried on.
Get well princess Leah, love you lots.
Keep smiling Dawn, you are nearly there and you will be well again.
Love you heaps .

mick said...

i hope leah is feeling better...and we are with you all the way to fight this dawn love to you all xxxxx